

In 2003, Duncan Greive wrote a damning review of Opensouls which resulted in "The Critic", a song that passionately slates him and asks, “What’s with all the criticism?” Nine years on, Chip Matthews and The Critic himself discuss the review, the song, and how they feel about it now.
A few weeks ago, Autozamm came out of hiatus with The Review, a song that aims to makes an example of Simon Sweetman “on behalf of every fucking band in the country.” Asides from the dystopian vision where Autozamm have the power to speak for all of New Zealand music, it’s a pitiable l’esprit de l’escalier: a delayed reaction to a post Sweetman wrote two years ago in which he expressed his disbelief that “a nothing band, an awful collection of not-quite-garage-rock sounds clashing with not-quite-pub-rock and not-quite-indie-chic” had received over $200,000 of NZ on Air funding since 2003.
The song is neither clever nor good, and mostly serves to strengthen Sweetman’s original comments. Furthermore, the impetus behind it, tongue-in-cheek or no, is patently outrageous: the idea that being a critic, and doing your job, is a punishable offense – and will take the form of, well, this:
As I mentioned in Part I, this isn’t the first time critics and artists have crossed swords in this way - and certainly it’s been done with more style. In 2003, Duncan Greive (former editor of Real Groove and current writer at Metro) wrote a damning review of Opensouls’ performance at the 95bFM Summer Series which resulted in "The Critic", a song that passionately slates him and asks, “What’s with all the criticism?”
The defensive hostility that comes with receiving a bad review is understandable, but the question posed in the song is like asking a chef, “Hey what’s with all the cooking?” Answer: It’s their job, and responses like this often stem from the sentiment that a reviewer should support rather than criticise local art, as though the two are mutually exclusive, and this is a dangerous thing.
But whether it was a sentiment held by the band is another question altogether, so a couple of weeks ago we sat down for a beer with Chip Matthews (the bassist for the now-defunct Opensouls) and The Critic himself in what would be their first ever encounter to discuss the review, the song, and how they feel about it nine years on.
It was one of those gigs you think, “Fuck, this is it. This is a step up. Next one’s going to be awesome.” And then suddenly: BOOM. Fuckin’ boom. Kneecapped by a dude we didn’t know
This was probably the fifth thing I ever had published and I did not know a goddamn thing about the world except that I wanted desperately to have a little place in it.